The dream celeb - Ep2 "The moment of shame"
The silence is killing me. You’re no longer touching me; you’re just laid there staring at the ceiling. I get up quickly and pick up my dress off the floor placing it in front of me and I run into the bathroom. You nervously sit on the bed while I leave the room.
What am I doing, what the hell is this. Oh my god, this is so embarrassing…
You knock softly on the door, three times.
- Hey… Are you ok?
Your voice shows concern. In the heat of the moment, it all seemed to make sense, like it was meant to be, like we’ve known each other forever but now… now we are standing in separate rooms, and no idea what to tell each other. Questions flood our minds as to what this all meant and how we move on from it.
- Yeah – I open the door – I just… I should probably go.
I slip past you looking for my underwear composing my hair, rushing to leave, because I can’t seem to have the strength to face you.
And you are there, scared, with only your boxers on, looking at me.
- What? Why? No! – you grab my hand and twirl me to face you – Stay, please stay.
You place your hands on my face and you kiss my forehead. “Stay”, you say.
At first, I place my hands on your chest as in to push you away, but you are being kind. You’re just as confused as I. I hug you. My head is resting on your chest; I can hear your heart beating. You’re hugging me back, so tight, so comforting.
- You can have a bath if you’d like. I’ll get you some of my clothes. – You say trying to make me laugh.
I nod my head yes and smile blushingly. You’re not pushing me.
You lay a sweater and some shorts on top of the bed, get me a towel, and leave the room. I can hear the water running on the other bathroom.
The truth is, I don’t want to be alone, and you are letting me choose what to do. I’m as if at home.
I walk towards the second bathroom and knock on the door. I walk in slowly as you look at me through the glass. I’m still wearing my laced short white dress. You are all wet, the water is running down your body, your hair is dripping onto your face while you run your hand through it, and there’s that feeling again… I take off my dress once more, and you are staring at me. Perplex expression, lips in an “o” position, following me as I walk in the water with you. You’re looking down on me. You run your hands on both my arms; you then brush my hair in the water, grab my head and kiss me. The most caring kiss, not like before, this one… This one is sensitive, warm, safe... Familiar even.
After we shower you felt in the mood for a movie, just to relax for a while, to try and break the thin ice this encounter has created. You put on this comedy from so long ago and had to put up with me complaining about how old it was.
- Hey, you’re calling me old when you say those things, you know! – you’re smiling and pinching my waste to make me laugh.
You are such a good vibe. Always in a good mood.
It’s been quite a few hours though, and I can’t stay for much longer, even though I feel like I never want to leave.
- I should probably get going now. – I say.
- You could stay…
- I can’t… Let’s not make me move in just yet.
You laugh out loud and it’s so beautiful. You reply with “you’re right” and smile at me again.
I quickly go into the bedroom and change back to my clothes. The sun is setting; it’s almost dark outside, I noticed while you were bringing me up to the gate.
- So… - I say.
- So… I’ll call you. I’d like to see you again. Maybe we can go…
- Out – I interrupt.
- Yes – you say chuckling.
I get inside the uber, and you’re suddenly gone. The gates are closing. I pick up my phone and stare at it, expecting a text to drop. Not even two minutes have gone by, and I just can’t wait to see you again.
In the past hours I have received a dozen calls from Jo, text messages wondering if I was ok. “Where are you”, “what is happening?”, “just reply so I know you’re alive”, “call me!” “Meet us at the Lucky’s for dinner at 20h”.
I still can’t believe this day had happened. I am smiling on my own, laughing, and quickly started to clench my thighs again, trying to desperately rub my underwear on my clit. “Can you go any faster?” I ask the driver.
I reply to Jo, “I’ll be having dinner at the hotel”.
I put my phone away and the uber stops.
- We’re here lady!
As I am getting out of the car, I can only think how close my room is. I have the images of you picking me up, sucking on my tits and fucking me hard. It was so perfect, so rough, truly electrifying. I know it was only a couple of hours ago but… God that feeling always returns, as if you’re still in my fantasies even after today. I realise I'm in cruise control right now. I’m suddenly falling on my bed and my fingers are wet. My left hand is grabbing my thigh and the left, well, it’s inside me. I’m moaning as silently as I can and my body is bending backwards, and I scream… I scream loud! I’m panting again. Even when you’re not here you’re making me scream. This time is still great, but nothing compared to what you made me feel.
A second shower is needed, but a cold one this time. A very, very cold one.
I promised myself I will not anxiously stare at the phone waiting for your call.
I silence it and lay down for the rest of the night.
The next morning, I wake up to the girls shaking me and excitingly screaming, curious to know what had happened. How you were, how you’ve treated me, what we had done, but I smile and I limit it to their imagination. I am not ready to share all of what happened with anyone else other than my body and you.
We spend the day shopping. I found this perfect black slim dress, and I could only think of getting it for you. Open down the back, all the way to the limit, thin straps and a soft, not too revealing, V neckline. “You would love this” I think.
- Jess, Jess… Yes! That one is perfect for where we’re going tonight! – Candance screams.
- Hum… Where are we going tonight?
Candance rips the dress out of my hand and hands it to the cashier, “to take please” she says.
I am lost! What is happening?
- We’re going to this exquisite restaurant. It’s on a roof top of New York City! – Jo ads.
- But, what? How? Am I? – I blabber confused.
Jo hooks her arm in mine and smiles, nodding yes with her head. I guess I will not be using this dress with you after all.
We head back to the hotel, an we're getting ready listening to a very happy party soundtrack; the party vibes are coming and I’m not thinking of you. I’m not thinking about the fact you said you’d call, and that you haven’t. I know how busy you must be. I know what happened yesterday doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll call me straight away, so I’m enjoying my time with the girls. I enjoy the fun of getting ready, putting on a red lipstick and going out.
We get to the restaurant later and wow…. It’s like a movie. The lights are dimmed, there are candles in every table, and the chairs are of soft red velvet, so soft to the touch. The waiter takes us to our table and as we are looking at the menu, we’re giggling. Candance and Julia ask for two vodkas with lemon, Jo and I go for the wine. Red, embodied wine. As we are going over what to eat, I hear this strong familiar laugh. I start looking around with just my eyes, thinking I’m imagining things. No way you’re also here; until you look in my direction, but don’t see me. You call up the waiter with your hand, and in that moment, I’m unconsciously brushing my hair behind my ear and my eyes float into you. Now you see me!
You glance at me, look down and smile. I am reinvigorated. There you are again! You’re wearing a burgundy suit with a white shirt and white sneakers. “You look so…”. Jo hits me in the arm suddenly “Jess get a hold of yourself. Jesus”. There I was again, biting my lip, thinking of you. I take a big sip of my wine and excuse myself from the table. I’m rushing to the restroom having this feeling that now everybody knows. Everybody knows now, you have had me once. Taken me in your bed, tasted me. I stop in front of the mirror, my hands are on the sink, and I am looking down, taking a deep breath. “Dear god”, my heart is racing. I feel the blood being pumped into my pussy, I am squeezing my legs to try and shake the feeling, but it won’t go! I take another deep breath, looking in the mirror. “You got this”.
I come outside to see you standing there. You’re looking me up and down, like you do. There’s only one small wall hiding the restroom entrances from the whole restaurant, and we are once again, alone.
- You look stunning – you say opening your eyes wide in disbelief.
- Thank you. You look rea…
You interrupt me with a kiss. Passionate, wet… Your hands are on my waist again and I remember the last time they were there.
I push you away.
- Pedro… - I whisper
You’re cleaning your mouth and brushing your fingers gently on your lips.
- I’m sorry – you say.
I decide it’s best to leave, and make my way to the table. This is bad! What if anyone sees us?
You stay back for a while, trying to avoid any staring eyes.
- Did he follow you? – Jo asks.
- Hm, hm – I reply cleaning my lips.
Moments later you pass by, walking towards your table, composing your suit, pulling your shirt down on your sleeves under that blazer of yours.
You look irresistible. I cannot believe the terrible luck of us crossing paths again. Your perfume has stayed in my dress, and I can smell you, even though you’re meters away.
You need to stop looking in this direction, and you need to stop looking like that. Look at you smile, look at you laugh. Just, perfect! I can’t do this anymore. I dream of being able to walk with you on the street, not afraid someone will catch us, or afraid of what the tabloid is going to say the next day. I want to hold your hand and just…
- Jess! – the girls bang on the table with both hands, shouting my name.
I snap out of it and realized suddenly the whole restaurant is looking at us, and all of us girls start laughing. You’re laughing too, you’re adoring this moment. Melting over my smile until your company touches your arm, stealing you into their conversation.
The night continues to roll, main dish comes in, another glass of wine. Despite all, I’m having a good time. For brief moments I forget you are here, and I am free.
Dessert is my favourite part of a meal, something about it is orgasmic. I crave for sugar just as much as lately I’ve been craving you.
On the table in front of me the waiter places a dark chocolate soufflé with a red fruit cream and a lemon merengue on top. “Oh wow, look at that” – I say.
As I’m taking the first bite, my eyes close at the first touch of the sweetness in my mouth. It pretty much felt like when you first slid yourself inside me.
I glance at you once more and you are staring again, straight face, swallowing the sip of wine you just had; your elbow set on the table while you are holding the glass. From the outside I can see the veins on your neck, the tightness of your muscles, and it is driving me crazy again. Your perfect moustache covering your upper lip, which is currently making your lips perfectly round. That gentle pout of yours. You softly move them, pressing them against each other, in a dry swallow motion. You put your glass down while nodding your head to the side, and stand up. “Excuse me” – you excuse yourself off the table and pass right by me.
Am I supposed to follow you?
There’s a rollercoaster in my stomach and I fear I’m not sure what to do next.
I take my purse, as a visual excuse that I’m going to retouch my makeup, and head to the restroom.
I’m passing by the disabled restroom and an arm grabs me, and pulls me in closing the door behind us. You wanted me to follow you.
- What are you doing? – I ask.
- Why are you looking so good tonight?
You look at me with deep, once again, penetrating eyes, grabbing my face, and kissing me blinded by desire.
- I want you… So bad! – you whisper.
My heart is beating out of my chest, we can hear people passing by outside that door but, right now you don’t care. You get me away from the door and make me face the mirror, slightly bending me down, placing my hands on the wall. You lift my dress and kiss my neck, and…
- What are you doing? – I whisper consumed by pleasure.
I’m looking at you through the reflection and you are looking at my, now, naked ass; that breathless face, like you can’t wait anymore. You bend on top of me, maintaining your distance, because we can’t afford to have doubting stains on your suit. You vigorously insert too fingers inside me from behind, whispering in my ear “what are you doing to me?”. As my moaning gets louder you place your other hand on my mouth and I’m biting you, hard. You speed up… Movements I’ve never experienced before, and a deeper, not louder, sound comes out of my mouth. You then turn my head to face you and you kiss me. This time, lovingly. You keep kissing me as you remove your fingers from me; I gasp. You pull down my dress, wash your hands, and compose yourself. I’m still gasping for air, looking for the right reaction but I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do.
You grab me by the waist, in this now romantic motion and you kiss me one more time. I am wrapping my arms around you, and your arms slide onto my back.
How can someone be this enticing, and brutal, and right the next second be the gentlest human being… But you are. I don’t know what these feelings are, but this can’t be good…
- You are driving me mad, but… I’m going to leave, and I need you to wait before you go out - you say.
- I don’t like this…
- I know. I just, wasn’t expecting to see you here, and you… Look at you.
We are both smirking and giggling at each other like two teenagers. Is this how it feels to fall for someone? Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
You leave, and I check myself. Redo my lipstick and make sure no evidence of the latest succeeding’s is at scene. I am trying to look as relaxed as possible opening the door, but someone walks by, and I can’t stop myself from laughing quietly. My head facing down all the way to my seat, where the girls are.
- I’m ready to go when you guys are – I smile softly.
- Yeah… It’s best we go – Jo says suspiciously.
We take the rest of the night in a nearby club, and by the time we get back to the hotel it’s already 05h00 am. I am dead and can’t wait to lay down and close my eyes shut for the next 12 hours.
I haven’t checked my phone for a while, and as I lay down after a very much needed shower, I swipe through my Instagram just to relax for a bit before going to bed. I notice you have shared this story of you in bed, head on your pillow, eyes closed, tongue out; “not ready for the incoming hangover”, you wrote. I laugh. I look at the ceiling and bite my lip. “How’s this real?”.
I zoned out for almost the whole day. I’m not used to partying like this anymore but hey, who’s cares anyway.
It’s 12pm and I am starving. I get to my phone and… you have surprised me. There’s a message from you. A photo of the empty bed next to you – “it still smells like you” – With not much thought I take a photo of me. My hand is covering half of my face, my makeup is still blurred from last night, and my hair is a morning mess – “Enjoy it because it didn’t last long! #trashed”. You reply straight away – “Beautiful”. You’re telling me you’ve been up for hours already, but you love doing that. Your career is important and more than that, it is still your dream. You deserve this, you are kind, and loving and adored. You are so good at your job. People love you.
“We should go out, sometime, Señor Pedro” – I tell you.
My phones rings and to my surprise, it’s you.
- Hey… I just got a 5-minute break, and I’m calling to know… How are you?
- You’ve asked me that today already – I laugh smilingly.
- I know, I just wanted to hear your voice. I was thinking we could go out, somewhere, sometime… Soon. I miss you…
- How do you suggest we do that with you being a super star? – I say jokingly.
- Let me handle that…
- Okay.
- Meet me at mine’s again tomorrow, around 11am? We’ll go from there…
- Alright cowboy, I’ll see you tomorrow!
- I’ll see you, gorgeous!
I don’t know if it’s my place or not to worry about your entitlement of a private life. Also, you’ve been doing it greatly so far, over all these years. I choose to believe what you are doing and just dare to get excited about the fact that I’ll be seeing you again very soon. I miss you too…
The girls are still curious to know everything. I’ll tell them that we kissed, maybe. I’ll tell them that yes, it’s you on the phone when I answer calls and text messages. But all the rest of us, I’m keeping to myself. I confess I just want to scream to the world about the person who’s making me feel the most alive I’ve been in years, and in a way, this was the purpose of this trip. But man, oh, man, I did not know how great it would be.
TO BE CONTINUED ON EPISODE 3
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